Today marks the "two week anniversary of Maria living in Brisbane". I went home for a quick visit this weekend and came back today and although my public transport skills have improved considerably since I arrived here, I still managed to catch the wrong bus twice and it took me a lot longer than anticipated to get to the shopping centre I needed to get to. Still, I'm thankful that my stress levels have decreased a lot and I can sit on a bus without feeling so high strung about "OMG WHERE DO I GET OFF?!".
Anyway, I have a few things to reflect on about Brisbane. So far, despite the homesickness and uni stress already kicking in, I'm very happy here. Happier than I have been in a long time. When I lived on the Coast, my life had no purpose. There was nothing exciting happening and I felt like I was sitting in the epitome of a comfort zone and all the future opportunities and "newness" that I wanted, but was so scared to discover, were unreachable. Living in a city is very different from living in a semi-rural town. For example, people are bold! Romantic encounters with strangers are also... the norm? Okay, so people don't ask for my number. It doesn't happen. The first time it happened was a few months ago at work and I'm fairly sure the guy was just playin'.
But today, someone was genuinely interested in me and naturally, I handled it in the most awkward, embarrassing way ever.
I was sitting on a bus and this really nice looking guy was staring at me and I could feel it. When I got off at my stop, he was going the same way as me and he eventually stopped me at the staircase and said, "Excuse me", and I turned around feeling surprised. He then said "Can I just say that you are very beautiful...". I could feel my face turn brighter than tomato red and I'm fairly sure I responded with a "Thank you, that's very nice". The conversation continued from then (we talked about uni and Brisbane etc) and he then asked for my number and I said no... BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. He persisted for a little and eventually offered his number and I said no again. I had to catch a bus quickly so we parted ways with him smiling and me, well, feeling every emotion possible. I wanted to cry because I was tired, I wanted to smile because it's flattering having a stranger compliment you and I also wanted to kick myself for not being the smooth, eloquent young lady that I always aspire to be. I don't know what to do in these situations... I only ever read about romantic stuff and I always think I'll be ready for it, but this time, when it actually happened, I handled it terribly. I'm 18 and at an age where I'm in my prime for romance - I could be rubbing elbows with my future husband without even knowing it!
Another thing about living here is that I can literally FEEL myself changing, adapting, growing. This newfound confidence (er, aside from the way I handled the above romantic encounter) has taken over me and I find it so easy to make friends. I'm actually a very shy person around people I don't know and the idea of going to uni and having to develop a whole new group of friends scared the life out of me. But now that I'm actually at uni, it's so easy to make friends. You just sit in a class, introduce yourself and you just start chatting. Maybe it's just my uni, but everyone is so friendly! I've made friends with a girl from Dubai, a guy from Vermont and another guy from Rockhampton and that was just at the top of my head. I feel like I'm a completely different person.
Hanging out with school friends has also been really amazing at uni too, it's like a little glimpse of home and high school. It's great being 18 too... the other day my friend Kristy and I finished class at 5pm and went to the bar and had a wine! It was very strange. But basically, I feel like a grown-up and I love it. I am happy, a little bit stressed and teary because I miss my Mum, but I am happy. I have a lot to be happy about and things are slowly falling into place, like a perfect puzzle. I feel so proud of myself. I can't believe I actually took the plunge and moved out!
What's been happening in your life lately? Anything profound? Embarrassing? That you could compare to my embarrassing moments? Thanks for the support and for reading, as always. Will be back soon with a PROPER outfit post because my backyard is greenery galore xo
Listening to: The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra
