home has my heart

Sunday, February 05, 2017

It really does look like Summer here, doesn't it? As much as I complain about the heat and how much it melts away my makeup and turns my hair into a crazy, curly mess, the Sunshine Coast really is a beautiful place and I am lucky to call it home. I thought this dress was wonderfully appropriate for the theme of these pictures... it was definitely my favourite purchase of the summer because it is a) made of cotton, b) has flowers on it and c) costed me less than a large coffee from Starbucks (bad example though because Starbucks coffee is a bit shite, but you get the picture) thanks to the pop up Vinnies in the city last week! 

So, how have you all been? I hope you all had a nice start to the year. In all honestly, I'm glad January is over. It was a weird month for me and I found myself ruminating more than usual. I think when I'm not working very much, or when I'm not at uni I get stuck in this weird limbo of feeling like I'm not achieving anything in life and it makes me question my worth and value. It's disheartening, because I'm the type of person who envisions how life should or is supposed to be, as well as wanting perfection and beauty in all areas, so when bad or unexpected things happen, I never know what to do. Often to remedy these feelings I seek out busyness and solitude because I take comfort in my own company sometimes more than in the company of others, and it makes me wonder if I will ever be able to have a relationship with somebody. I'm not in any sort of rush to "fall in love" as lovely as that would be, because deep down, I know it's a very risky thing and I really am quite afraid of it. I find myself simply ending things with people purely because I don't want to even risk putting my heart on the line. I know I should, because it's character building and it's experience and it's just part of life, but I really am afraid. There is Mum's comforting voice in the back of my mind as reassurance though that no matter what place you're at in life, it's going to be fine. It will work out. It always does. You're where you're supposed to be. You're okay! I was actually thinking the other day how much my Mum and I would have gotten along if she was my age at the moment. Like, if we met at uni or something. I honestly think she would be my best friend, because she is now and there's a 30 year age difference. I'm very lucky and thankful for that. So, Mum, if you're reading this! Thanks for being amazing and helping me through all this weird stuff (I think it's called growing up and developing?? Anyone else not sure who the hell they even are?!??). 


Here's some music I've been listening to lately as well: 
  1. This playlist is my personal favourite lately: "Toe-tapping and skirt ruffling!" It's a mixture of Gatsby-inspired music (as well as a few gems from later decades) and it makes me so happy listening to it. I live for that crackle in between songs on an old record! 
  2. Here's the classic Indie-mix (with a few randoms thrown in too): "January 2017" I made last month with a few more songs since I last shared it. Overall, I was satisfied with the Triple J Hottest 100 Countdown, however there was a few artists I couldn't help but wonder why they didn't place??! Like Julia Jacklin! She was 100% top 10 material. 
  3. And here are the foundations for the February Playlist! It's still a work in progress but give it a listen. Would highly recommend listening to "No Woman" by Whitney and "Brave For You" by the XX. Their new album is absolutely wonderful and perfect. 
Anyway, I hope you all have a lovely week this week. I hope nice things happen to all of you because there is just so much that is wrong about the world at the moment and I just hope some nice things are happening despite it all. Let me know :) 

1 comment:

Simona said...

You look really gorgeous Maria! That floral dress is adorable on you! <3