the stroke of midnight

Sunday, July 30, 2017
I just thought I would check in tonight while I had a small moment of calm amidst the frenzy that's been my life lately. Things are good in my corner of the universe. I'm still in the middle of a "I don't know what I want to do with my life" phase, but I've been told by a number of people lately (majority of whom are over the age of 50!) that no one really does know what they wanna do/ be when they "grow up". It's comforting, because I know I'm 20 and I have plenty of time but I've got a feeling of FOMO at the moment because if I had stuck with my original plan, I'd be a UQ graduate with an Arts degree under her belt in November of this year, much like a lot of the people I graduated high school with 3 years ago. Alas, I'm no longer at uni, nor do I really want to be anyway. I guess you could say I'm in limbo - I'm not exactly sitting on my ass doing nothing, but I'm not headed anywhere in particular either. I don't mind it mostly because my days are extremely lovely; I wake up around 7 each morning, head out for a stroll before breakfast, go to work, buy flowers and read books and don't have to stress about deadlines and readings on mundane topics that I care very little about. Yet, there's a feeling that something is missing, and I'm not quite sure how to fill that void. 

Despite all of this, (and at the risk of sounding like a broken record) I feel like I've at least made up for not learning a lot in the academic spectrum by learning a lot of "life stuff" in the last 6 months. I know it sounds cliche, but I learn something new about the world and myself every day - often multiple things that change my perspective for the next day, and the next day after that. As much as I poked fun at Kylie Jenner's interview regarding what she wanted/ hoped for in 2017 and finding her response extremely vague and brainless - "I don't know, like... I guess 2017...will be the year of just, like, realising things" - it kinda has been that sort of year for me! 

Anyway - enough waffling about me realising things. Here's a few snippets of what I've been up to lately, because no, I didn't just wear that dress pictured above on a regular day out (although we wouldn't put it past 2013 Maria). 
 - Annually my parish hosts a fundraising ball/ dinner and (understandably) the tickets are quite steep in price so since my car registration was due in the same week as the event, I dismissed the thought of going and carried on. At the last minute, my room mate offered me a free ticket from the newspaper she works for and (obviously) I wholeheartedly accepted. I trailed all the results of Gumtree until I found this beauty of a dress for a measly $60 and despite only needing a few minor alterations, it was the perfect fit and find! I felt like an absolute princess in it and it was a splendid evening of champagne, dancing (haphazardly, mind you... I'm very uncoordinated) and admiring all the beautifully dressed people in the room. 
 - As you know, music is a huge part of my life and lately I've discovered a number of wonderful artists that have contributed to my overall quality of life. Lord Huron being a recent find ('The Night We Met' and 'The Ghost on the Shore' being two stand-outs), as well as Alex Crossan (otherwise known as Mura Masa), releasing his debut album which is an absolute work of art. 
 - Reading: The Dark Tower series by Stephen King. Now, if you know me well, you'd be very surprised that I'm reading books by a world-famous horror story author, but alas, here I am, sitting at my desk, my elbow resting on an opened cop The Gunslinger, the first book in the epic series by King that so many rave about. I'm dipping my toes into the horror genre because as scary as words can be, I do enjoy being on the edge of my seat, sucked in by a gripping novel. I'll let you know how things go - and you'll know if I start posting at 3am that I can't sleep due to nightmares. Heh.

I hope everything's going well for you, dear reader. I hope you're reading a good book at the moment that's making life interesting, or maybe you've got an exciting new romance blossoming, or you've just discovered an amazing new song that you'll probably play over and over until you start to hate it. I hope you're going well and that you're happy wherever you are.


the creation of beauty is art. said...

It sounds like there has been a lot going on in your life lately! But it definitely sounds good. And I adore that dress. The details on the back are so so pretty.

Carina said...

Oh Maria, I spent the past year in the exact same limbo and I'm only just starting to get out of it. But I wouldn't change it for anything - you're so right in saying that it allows you to learn so much about the everyday world around us and who you are as a person. It's hard to experience life outside of the school and Uni 'bubble', as it's all we've ever known! But it's similarly refreshing to reliaze that they aren't the be all and end all. As for the void, I found (and still find) that taking part in volunteer activities I care about alongside working is so worthwhile. It seems you are quite involved with your Parish, which is a great start :)

You looked absolutely beautiful for the ball, a true princess indeed! And I've also been listening to Lord Huron; his songs are beautiful yet haunting. I'd also recommend Declan McKenna (not of a similar genre, but a very promising young artist!)

xx Carina