sunny & bright

Sunday, January 19, 2014
Tree of Life dress, Kmart shoes, Burt's Bees lip butter in 'Watermelon'

After a little lie down with my swanky new 2014 diary today, I finally concocted a list of goals for my future. I am probably the most indecisive young woman I have ever known (I feel sorry for my future boyfriend.. he doesn't know what he'll start when he asks what restaurant we should go to for a date...), so naturally I was worried that I would never come to a conclusion about my future. I'm not just talking the next two years or so, but you know, my life. My career. So, it has officially been decided that I am going to study a Bachelor of Arts and major in Criminology (hopefully at UQ). Many of you have asked me if I'm still doing fashion... and to be honest, if I was offered a full-time blogging job like Nicole Warne, I wouldn't hesitate, but for now, blogging is a hobby that gives me joy, but probably not a future career. 
I'm still tossing up whether a gap year would be a good idea because I want to get started as soon as I can... travelling in between study and work. I'm really happy about coming to a decision though because now I can actually aim for specific results and start planning. The future is scary (but wonderful), so I want to make sure I'm really prepared. 

To be honest, I'm a very comfortable girl. I live in a small town, go to a small(ish) school, and I rarely go on holidays without my family with me, so moving away will be a big step and because I'm finishing school forever in less than a year, something I have to start considering. A big part of me wants to stay here: comfortable, sheltered and secure with everything set out, planned and in a familiar routine. Another part of me however is longing for adventure and a change of scenery. I want to experience really crazy stuff! I want to go exploring, I want to jump out of aeroplanes and get out of my comfort zone without clinging onto my imaginary security blanket and going back home at the end of the day because "I just couldn't handle it". I want to study abroad in the States and visit my long-lost family. I want to get out of here but I also want to stay. It's overwhelming and also amazing that instead of picking which uniform I'll be wearing on a certain day of the week, I'll be choosing what I will do for the rest of my life.

I think I'm prepared for it, but there's also that little nagging voice in the back of my head that always dreams up wild ideas but never actually gives me the courage I need to DO them. 
I honestly think 2014 will be my year though. It's the year I've kinda been waiting for... but I'm still hesitant for it to end. It's the start of a new beginning. And 2015, the year after, will be the year that I become an adult and I actually start living the life I've been planning.

Anyway, I think that's probably sufficient rambling for tonight. Hopefully I haven't confused ya'll with my nonsense! In the meantime, do you have any thoughts about the future? Was it scary moving away from home? Any tips or advice for a teenager who thinks way too far ahead?! Haha. I hope you all had a lovely weekend and as always, thank you for the continuous support. Internet families rock! xo


Unknown said...

You look stunning Maria, like such a young lady.

Okay, so lets begin my long, probably very rambly comment/advice. First off, I think its great how you have worked out what you want to do, as at your age, I still didn't have a clue. I just wanted to survive year 12 before thinking about the next step. But even if you find yourself in that position, that's still okay! I have only just started to gain an idea about what I would like to do, which was all made possible through exploring the many options available at Uni. It's frightening at first, there are so many subjects to chose from.

First year was basically just me trying to get my head around the subjects I am passionate about, and I discovered that I could never commit to more "job securing" subjects like Law. I know I could do well academically if I put my mind to it, but my heart is not and never will be in it, so I let it go. You see, for a while I felt guilty, like I was wasting my potential for not pursuing such a career, and instead pursuing something I love with less concrete career options (ie English Literature) I am also majoring in Media Communications, and while it is the least favourite subject I'm taking, I've been told it is a good subject to take that will help career wise later on, so it's a small sacrifice.

So I guess where I'm going with this is, don't panic if by any chance you doubt what you want to do. Just do what you love, and study something you're interested in, and that will then guide you later on. For a while I have been considering the option of pursuing academics (becoming a lecturer) or even an editor. These are only two ideas, but two years ago, I had none at all, so it's a good start :).

In terms of leaving home, I cant offer so much advice, as the Uni I wanted to go to and got into is just 20 minutes away :P So I haven't moved out...but I am planning to go on exchange to England next year. For ages, I felt really scared about the idea of being away from home for so long. But I'm like you, I also want to explore, see the world, fulfill my dreams and meet new people. I have been saving very hard, and by the time Uni commences for 2014, I will be ready to commit to the plans I need to make. I've only been on 1 trip in my life without my family, during a school tour to Italy, and I can honestly say it was the most amazing and eye opening experience of my life. You learn so much about the extent of your capabilities, and you overcome so many fears and apprehensions. Travelling, and exchange, is one of the best things you can do!

Sorry for the massive comment! I just hope some of my own experiences/ideas helps in some way. You are amazing Maria :)

squidword said...

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Hilary said...

Okay, so my best advice is to leave home - I did it and it was possibly the best choice of my life! Getting to move from my slow hometown to Wellington, NZ was a huge change for me but I couldn't have been happier. I suppose you've got to think about the fact that this might be your only opportunity to make such a big move without having to base it on full-time job opportunities at the other end. I would also highly recommend living in university accommodation, a dorm, hall of residence - whatever you want to call it. It's halfway between a home and living on your own, and it gives you a lot of freedom whilst also offering the support you may need. I cannot imagine my first year of uni without my hall being at the forefront of my mind. It was so much fun, and I met so many amazing people. Best decision of my life, I loved it so much :)

Good luck! Study what you want, never let anyone tell you that your major is silly, or a huge waste of time because it's not. University study isn't just about getting a job, it's about learning. BA's teach transferrable skills which can be applied to many different situations - critical thinking, problem solving and the like. Just study what you love and I truly believe the rest will fall into place :)

Unknown said...

Oh Maria I know exactly how you feel! I was in the same position just a few months ago. I had to apply for uni in October and it was such a hard decision! I chose fashion marketing as my degree and I am so looking forward to doing it! I am now just waiting to here from all the universities because my dream one (LCF) hasn't got back to me yet ahhh! I so understand about wanting to move yet wanting to stay too. I always look at my room and think 'ohhh I don't wanna leave' but then I think of possibly moving to London and just think 'HELL YEAH BABY' Haha! Good luck with everything! xox

Jenna Leigh said...

You are just so pretty! :)

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paperdoll chronicles said...

What a beautiful shoot Maria! That peace and clarity of mind is such a amazing feeling and it surely must be exciting for you being so close to finishing high school. I remember being in your position as well!

I am in my third year of university, I chose to study a my local university 20 minutes by train from home because I am planning on studying abroad and financially I could not afford $250/week rent, grocery, bills whilst studying/homework and working part-time to afford living. If your family will pay for your accommodation and groceries and all the other bills that seems like a pretty awesome deal. So there are quite a lot factors involved in university and studying itself is a full-time job. But if you want to purse a study pathway as intense as Criminology I would want to have the support of family. It is such a blessing to come home with a pantry/cupboard full of food and people who want to share details of the day.

I tried living away from home for 6 months but it all caught up to me and the pressures of Part-time job, rent/bills, full-time uni and stress overwhelmed me. I am now so close to my abroad study and I'm managing my time well. Goodluck with your year 12 studies and all your planning.

Emily said...

A Bachelor of Arts is a great idea, there's so many options of study within it and it allows for some changing of the mind here and there without too much of a problem.

Personally I'd recommend a gap year, I went to Uni but had to drop out after two years because of health issues, but I always wished I could have taken a gap year to slow down and give myself some time. Everyone is different though, I knew I should have taken a gap year but I didn't. If you feel you need one, take it but most of my friends at Uni didn't take one and they're doing great and will be graduating next year!

I went to QUT in my first year and a half and transferred to UQ for my last semester before dropping out and so I moved to Brisbane as well. It's not as scary as you might think, some of my friends wanted to move to Brisbane too but acted as though it'd be like moving halfway around the world! It's not the case at all. We're still close enough to home that it's less than a 2 hour train ride or drive back and I'd spend my holidays and some weekends back home seeing my friends and family. It's such a great, exciting experience! x

Wild Flower said...

Really beautiful dress, loving that floral pattern. That's awesome that you are planning out future goals, it's important to know what you want in life so you can work your hardest to achieve whatever that is.

Good luck!